Real Talk for Life’s Tangled Moments

What do you see in the mirror? For me it was over 40 years of low self-esteem and shaky self-confidence. A big part of that struggle was living in the closet—trapped in the mindset society inculcated in me…because I was gay, I wasn’t worthy of love, happiness, or even life itself.

I spent decades believing I was never enough—never fit enough, smart enough or deserving enough. But life has a way of teaching you, sometimes in small steps. For me, it was the little wins: hitting a fitness goal, a sold out show, a standing ovation or simply showing up for myself when I wanted to quit. Without even realizing it, each small success became a brick in the foundation of new self-esteem, one I built for myself, not for anyone else’s approval.

In my late 40s it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized I spent years looking at myself through society’s eyes and after looking at my life over the last 25 years and all the successes I’ve accomplished I had an epiphany…society was wrong! The truth? Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s not something others will provide for you and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight. It’s something you build yourself, moment by moment, choice by choice.

As my confidence grew, so did my relationships with both friends and family. All the people in my life that didn’t treat me the way I deserved to be treated were shaken out of my life like a bad case of fleas and I surrounded myself with people who were worthy of my friendship. I’ve been lucky enough to share over 23 years with my husband—a partnership built on honesty, humor, and mutual respect. I learned firsthand that the way we see ourselves shapes the way we connect with others.

Now, I want to help others do the same—especially those in the LGBTQ+ community who’ve been told they’re “less than” for far too long. I understand everybody has their panties in a twist in some form or another so I am here to help untangled those moments of self-doubt, shame or confusion through listening, empathy and maybe just a tad of humor. 

Whether you’re struggling with self-doubt, searching for confidence or looking to strengthen your relationships, I’m here to remind you that not only have I lived through it, but overcame it and prevailed. 

Just remember, you don’t need to rewrite your story—you just need to start a new chapter.

Let’s start your new chapter together. One conversation at a time.